It's Me, Sara Louise

Today, Le Petit Village is hosting a small festival. It’s small because Le Petit Village is small and small is all we can handle.

But even though it will be small, we are expecting an even greater number of tourists than normal (the parking lot was filled last night, with cars parked in the field next to it).

In an effort to help the tourists enjoy their time in Le Petit Village, I’ve come up with a few guidelines so we can all get along and play nice together…

1. Please keep your dog on the leash, unless you are a dog whisperer and I’m guessing that you are not. You don’t know if your dog is going to play nice with the village dogs or perhaps, maybe one of the village dogs is in heat and you don’t want to look like an idiot chasing your dog as it tries to get some while we all laugh at you (although that was very funny, thanks for the chuckle random tourist).

2. If you find a parking spot that is just too good to be true and the spot is outside someones front door, please use your noggin, and your manners. Don’t park there. (And thank you random tourist, for all that exercise I got when you were in my parking spot and I was moving. All that lugging of bags and boxes to my far away parked car was a lot of fun for me.)

3. If you arrive in Le Petit Village before 9am on a Saturday or Sunday morning, please keep your voices down. Remember, there is no traffic and city noises to drown out your chatter and it’s not our favorite way to wake up.

4. Please do not park your two camping vans in the middle of the public parking lot so no one else can park there, and then set up chairs so all fifteen of you can have your lunch (Belgians I’m looking at you). No one else can get in the parking lot and I could barely walk in to unload my recyclables. Why would you want to eat lunch three feet away from a recycling container anyway? Weirdos.

5. Please don’t stare into house windows. That’s just rude. I’m not doing anything quaint. You’re not missing anything. Unless you would like to help me with the dishes and ironing, or perhaps walk Fifty, then by all means, knock on the door.

6. If I say bonjour, I’m being polite. It’s polite to return the favor.

I will write these out on a large sign to hang around Grandma Honey. Grandma Honey is like the Sheriff of Le Petit Village and she knows everybody’s business. She can wear it as she patrols the main street, using ‘watering her flowers’ or ‘shooing cats away‘ as her excuse to be all up in everybody’s grill.

P.S. I’m feeling feisty this morning

P.S.S. But please notice how often I said please. I maybe feeling feisty, but I’m always polite.