Some of the fun of being married (or dating or involved with or what have you) to someone who is from someplace far away from where you’re from, is discovering all their weirdness. Of course he doesn’t think he’s weird and I’m sure he thinks I’m weird but we all know that’s poppycock. The Husband is totally the weird one. How do I know?
Well for starters, he had no idea who Oprah was. Can you believe it?! How do you not know who Oprah is? This weird discovery was made forever and a day ago when she popped into conversation (as she does), and The Husband said, “who?” and I said, “who who?“, and he said, “Oprah” and I said, “WHAT?” So I gave him a rundown of who she is and such and how she has more money than God and what not, so now he knows.
(And now I like to show him YouTube clips of those episodes where Oprah gives away cars and cruises and stuff and the audience goes balls out ballistic. Love those. It’s pure consumer madness).
And let’s see, now from what I’ve gathered from Samantha, this isn’t all that uncommon among the French, but The Husband has never had a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich! How does one grow up without eating PB&J’s (with the crusts cut off thank you very much). What were children fed here? Nutella that’s what. See, weird.
But the true testament of his weirdness was revealed to me over Christmas; The Husband has never seen Star Wars. Not a single one. Shock. Horror. I know. How has he not seen a single Star Wars? And it’s not like it wasn’t out here, because it was, and it had the awesomely French name of La Guerre des Étoiles (c’est très romantic, no?).
So here’s the thing, because I’d like to de-weird The Husband a bit, I think that watching Star Wars might be a good place to start. But this is where it gets tricky; remember, for all of us ‘adults’ Star Wars started with Episode IV and then we saw Episodes V and VI years before Episode I finally came out. So in my pre-historic mind we’d watch it that same way. But get this, genius that he is at ten years old (and a Star Wars aficionado), I asked Nephew what Star Wars movie we should start with and without any hesitation whatsoever, he said, “Episode 1” (duh). And he may have referred to me as Grasshopper after.