heartbroken


(This post is a follow up to ‘Still Frustrated’, which continued on from, ‘Frustration‘) 

Well that’s that then.

After five weeks of trying everything I could to finally get my Congressman’s office to request Gregory’s Green Card be processed sooner rather than later (instead of merely checking on the status as they seemed to be content to do), I have failed. 

This is the email I received from them yesterday:

Dear Sara,
Listed below is the email response we received. Unfortunately, the US Embassy in Paris denied the expedite request. We will continue to check on your case accordingly. As soon as we receive any information, it will be forwarded to you.
… … …
This is a follow up to your email dated November 24, 2014 concerning the immigrant visa petition filed by Sara Louise XXX on behalf of Gregory XXX with assigned case number XXX Per correspondence from your office, the National Visa Center (NVC) forwarded an expedite request to the  U.S. Embassy in Paris, France.  The response from the U.S. Embassy indicates that they are not willing to accept this case for expeditious processing.

And once again, I had allowed myself to get my hopes up when last week I was finally told that if I wrote a letter, detailing the hardship reason that we needed the visa expedited (and in fairness, I’d hardly call getting it finally processed after thirteen months ‘expedited’), the visa center would send it on to the embassy in Paris for review. 

Foolish me, I thought that my Congressman requesting this expedition on behalf of a constituent that’s going broke because she and her husband live in two separate households in two separate countries would be reason enough. I guess not. 

So here I am, broken, That’s how I feel, broken and empty. There is nothing left for me to do. I am merely a tiny speck on the back of the NVC and they don’t care. I have to wait 120 days for one set of documents to be reviewed and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. At least there are only 17 days of the second ’60 day wait’ left to go (but then again, that’s day-days and not business days, so who knows… at this point I feel like the process is never going to end). 

On the bright side, I will see Gregory in a week or so when he comes to stay for Christmas, but on the dark side, he will have to go back afterwards and I don’t even want to think about how we are going to feel when that day comes. I better start stocking up on waterproof mascara.  

P.S. Here’s a thought… how about before we focus on immigration reform for people who entered this country illegally, why don’t we try and address the problems within the process, for those who are trying to do it legally, because receiving two back-to-back ‘60 day wait‘ letters, is inefficiency at its finest.  

34 responses to “heartbroken”

  1. Ugh so sorry to hear this! I so agree with you, something needs to change for those who are trying to do things the legal way!

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  2. Oh, this is soon disappointing. I was really hoping you would get some good news just before the holidays. At least you get to spend Christmas together – I hope you can put the other end of his visit out of your mind as best you can so you can enjoy your time together. I can't comment on your country's bureaucracy because honestly, I can't understand a lot of it! You guys are so different to us on some things. I just keep my fingers crossed that the paper pile fairies will push you to the top x x x

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  3. Oh no Sara!! I am so sorry and I hear you… they really do make the processes incredibly time consuming and difficult and sometimes you have to wonder if being on top of it all and “legal” is even worth it. (Not that I am implying we should be “illegal” – but still why does it all have to be so complicated and pressure-filled and frustrating to follow the rules?) Hang in there… I am sure that once everything finally comes through and you are united that you'll look back on how strong you've had to be through the process. Doesn't feel that way now – but it will be so lovely once you finally make it.

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  4. Ugh, this is awful. I was so hoping you would get some good news before Christmas.

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  5. Oh no! I just don't understand this! Why does it take so long? I am so so sorry, Sara! That really sucks big time! I mean, I know how frustrating that process is but your situation is even worse than what I heard before. I really don't know what their problem is! I really don't! I am so sorry! I am glad you will be able to spend Christmas together but it sucks so much that Gregory has to go back afterwards! ❤ Keeping my fingers crossed!

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  6. Ugh this is infuriating!! No wonder we have so many “illegal”: immigrants in the U.S. – doing it the “legal” way is impossible! I do not understand why it is so difficult to get the correct, official papers for your HUSBAND. You'd think because you're married it would all work fine. Man, I'm upset for you. I am so, so sorry. I wish I knew someone that could help you… 😦

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  7. Oh, I'm so sorry. In my experience the U.S. Embassy in Paris took French style bureaucracy to new heights. Hoping for a Christmas miracle and wishing you strength to keep going just a bit longer.

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  8. I am so sorry, this sounds absolutely horrendous! I really feel for you, I can only imagine how rubbish it is x

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  9. Hang in there. I know it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're so deep in, but it's there, I promise. x

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  10. BLECH – I'm so sorry. You should try your Senator's offices as well, can't hurt to get as many people on it as possible. Stay strong and I'll be sending good thoughts your way – we may be in the same position in not too long. Le sigh! Bon chance!

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  11. Well I'm really glad he's getting back to you for Christmas, but otherwise… jeez that's the pits, girl. Hugs.

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  12. If you go see an immigration lawyer and have the money (it is not cheap), everything will go very fast! Money talks…

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  13. Ugh I'm so sorry, that is so incredibly frustrating 😦 I'm glad you guys can at least see each other for Christmas ❤

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  14. Oh Sara, I'm so sorry to hear this – there can't be anything more frustating!

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  15. This is horrible! And food for thought! Although we aren't considering it, I always thought that if I wanted to move back to the States with my legally wedded husband, the process would be very smooth! I guess I thought wrong. But maybe you do need an immigration lawyer…good luck with all of this.

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  16. I am so sorry to hear about this Sara 😦

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  17. Aw, that's so sad, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas though x

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  18. [your post was shared on my twitter feed but…]”P.S. Here's a thought… how about before we focus on immigration reform for people who entered this country illegally, why don't we try and address the problems within the process, for those who are trying to do it legally, because receiving two back-to-back '60 day wait' letters, is inefficiency at its finest.”THIS. My mom and I moved to the US 10 years ago and as someone that went through the process, I couldn't agree more. We ended up with over $10,000 in lawyers fees after 4.5 years of trying to get our residency… we don't even have our citizenship yet because the process was so awful, we needed a break (also, we were broke and couldn't afford to apply for citizenship). All of this to tell you… I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you're going through this but hopefully it'll end soon!

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  19. I'm so sorry to hear this 😦 I can't believe it's taking so long! The system definitely needs to be fixed.

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  20. all the love to you guys. my heart breaks for you with yours.

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  21. This brought tears to my eyes. I know how tough it is to be apart from the man you love, but I have no idea how frustrating it must be to keep meeting these brick walls. You are amazingly strong.

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  22. How awful! I'm sorry to hear about this! I've heard similar issues from our friends who were married to Turks when we lived in Istanbul. Bureaucracy at its finest! 😦

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  23. Oh Sara dear I am so sorry…….this is heartbreaking. I can't imagine how awful you must have felt to get that letter. I'm glad Gregory is coming soon and you can have that time together —— but this really sucks. Wish I could be of more help – just know all of your blog friends are here for you and sending our love and support and that, even though it's not soon enough, this too shall eventually pass ♡

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  24. Girl, my heart breaks for you, it really does. This whole journey has been such a roller coaster, with false hopes. I don't know how you keep on, but I admire you so much for continuing to fight. I can't even handle all of the discrepancies and issues with government and their timing – I'm so sorry, and I'm here if you ever need me for anything (venting, virtual drinking buddy, etc.).

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  25. I am so sorry. I totally agree with your statement about where the reforms SHOULD be. I know of two women that married “illegal” men, one here in Texas and the other in Maryland. They hired local immigration lawyers and had green cards for them within the year. That's all about money. Anyway, I will keep sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I feel bad for your baby dog, too.

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  26. Ugh that's terrible and I'm so sorry about it – how freaking frustrating. My friend tried to go visit her dad for the first time in TEN YEARS and they lost her passport and were not able to process her visa in time, despite her having sent in everything two months early. So she had to cancel her entire trip. Is that not ridiculous?! I'm with you, we need some sort of reform.

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  27. Oh, my dear, dear Sara Louise. I'm so sorry that you guys are dealing with this. I will have to read back on the other two posts to fully catch up on why this is happening but my goodness, my heart is just breaking for you. at least you have Christmas and just know (I know it's hard to now, but try) that this really will all work out, it's just taking longer than expected. bisous to you both from aurel and me.

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  28. Hugs Sorry to hear that this process is being so drawn out for the two of you. Send me an email if there is anything that I can do for the two of you.

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  29. so so sorry and yes the process for those of us who want to enter the country legally is dreadful xx

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  30. Devastated for you. The visa process stinks and really shouldn't take so bloody long. My fingers, toes, arms and legs are crossed that it doesn't take too much longer. At least you have christmas. X

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  31. This is such crap on a cracker! Insert lots of bad words here.

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  32. Oh Sara, I am so so sorry. I do know how you feel. A speck indeed. It is hard to realise that our country, our community can let us down. Can show so little compassion. As far as I am concerned, there is no reason that I shouldn't be allowed to see my family. Two years without being able to see my baby nephews grow. Without being able to hug my Mom. It is too hard. And I can't justify it in any way, shape or form.

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  33. Ugh this is so rough and I can totally relate. My boyfriend lives in Paris and I live in NYC – we've had to do the back and forth thing for three years – only staying for 90 days in eachother's countries…I feel your pain!

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