The Gas Light Burns Bright

You know, the thing is, when someone you care about lies to you, your default is to believe them. 

When your spouse repeatedly lies to you and says, “no, no, no, no, that’s not true, why would I do that,” even if your gut knows, you tell yourself to believe them because you want to believe them, and they’re telling you to, begging you to. 

Because why lie when the truth would be so much easier? Sure, it would hurt at first, but at least it would be over.

I wish the bandaid had been ripped off. But it wasn’t. For years there was a slow, painful peel, and the gas light burned bright and burned long. 

P.S. When you read the next chapters, and you think, “how could you have let this go on, how could you have not seen it, how could you have stayed…” understand that when the person you’re married to is lying to you THAT much, and you’re in it, living it, and have invested so much time, so many years of your life, you want to believe, because you just want to live a life. A normal life. And that’s what he stole. He stole my life. 

9 responses to “The Gas Light Burns Bright”

  1. I’m afraid I know something about this utter horror story. I wish I didn’t, and I wish you didn’t either. Sending healing hugs and love. I hope the sharing helps.


    1. Hugs received, thank you my friend!


  2. rosemarie giusso Avatar
    rosemarie giusso

    This is very well said and I have followed you since you were in France. I am incredibly sorry this has happened to you as I know from your blog how much effort you put into the marriage.
    He stole your “light” but you are shining now!! Corraggio, a hug from Ro in NW Italy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Doing my best to keep shining; thank you!


  3. I am sorry for your pain. Sending healing prayers and love. My daughter has gone through this and it is truly painful. It will get easier to bare with time. You have many cheer leaders out here who have followed you from the beginning. We are all sending healing prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Healing prayers received! Thank you for sticking by me.


  4. FormerPetiteVillageFan Avatar

    I gasped at the last post with the date of 2016! I mean . . . !?!? Can’t wait to read how you and Fifty got that good life back.


    1. 2016? That’s weird. I posted in 2019 and 2018. Not much, but some 😅


  5. No judgement or blame, just love and empathy. xxx


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